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Downy Ball Blast Kills Two
DUBUQUE, IA - Tragedy struck last night when Erma Hendricks and her sister Nancy Galloway were killed during a freak laundry accident when her malfunctioning Downy Fabric Softener Ball exploded.
According to her daughter, Hendricks had just finished filling her washing machine and added the softening timebomb. Before the lid could be completely closed, it went off in a large, blue-green explosion.
Invesitgators wading through the slippery aftermath discovered that Snuggle brand softener was added to the Downy Ball. Downy manufacturer Procter & Gamble has released a notice on their web site showing that their device is incompatible with other brands of laundry additives.
P & G spokeperson Ally McPhearson released a statement earlier this morning concerning the deaths. "We at Proctor & Gamble are deeply sorry about this incident", said McPhearson, "but the product is clearly labelled 'Downy' ball and not 'Any Softener You Like' Ball". After assuring the public that warnings will be issued on future Downy Ball packaging, McPhearson added "We can only be thankful that this was not a generic brand Mrs. Hendricks added. The results would have been catastrophic".
This product incompatibility tragedy comes on the heels of last weeks blinding of a man who's Coca Cola glass violently shattered when he poured himself a Mountain Dew. The Product Safety Commission has fined P & G $5000 and has insisted on a product recall of all 1998 and earlier Downy Ball models.
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| ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Connie Li has been hailed as the Martha Stewart of The Taunt by her editor. Mother of two, she's well-versed in parenting with the aid of books, entertaining and fashion for women on the go. |
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