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Caterers Strike Cripples Movie Biz
HOLLYWOOD - It's said that an army travels on its stomach. The recent caterer's strike has proved this is also true in the American movie industry. The production of most major motion pictures is at a standstill while caterers, commissary staff and lunch trucks create a group of high-paid yet starving actors.
On the set of "Terminator 4" actor Aronold Schwarzenagger was seen looking for scraps of food in a dumpster. Though his once strong frame is wasted away to a slim 128 pounds, he was still more than a match for co-star Nick Stahl as they wrestled for a week-old doughnut. Stahl's funeral will be an uncatered affair later this week.
Across the lot, actor Jack Nicholson had garbage and rocks thrown at him as he snuck a homemade lunch across picket lines onto his own movie set. Suffering a concussion, the 66 year-old actor lies happy and well-fed in a Beverly Hills hospital. His lunch was quickly scavanged by local 182 of the gaffer's union.
The strike began last Thursday as the caterer's union walked out demanding first billing in all movie credits and a staff pay rate equal to that of the star of whichever film they are working on. Industry execs are in negotiations with the CU as the Red Cross and Air National Guard are proceeding with delivery of food and humanitarian aid to the ailing thespians.
Director Steven Spielberg, who survives by way of a refrigerator in his limo, has a lack of concern over this latest industry strike. In a phone interview, Spielberg said "I don't think this is any worse than the stuntmen's strike of 98. We made due and Tom Cruise did a great job when we set him on fire". The interview ended abruptly as the award-winning director had to fire from his car window at approaching poachers.
At this time, negotiations are still ongoing and a resolution is hoped for within the week. Although we mourn the passing of many Hollywood legends, we can only look forward to what these lean times will do to acting ability of sometimes complacent actors in future motion pictures.
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| ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rusty Fender watches a lot of movies. Having shaken hands with many movie critics, Rusty has the pulse of the biz. |
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