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Insert Name Here
Hoff here. This issue I wanted to express some opinions of something that's becoming more and more of a nuisance these days - telemarketers. The other night, Mrs. Hoff and I were sitting down to a nice quiet meal. What we were eating isn't important, but I would have liked my steak a little more on the medium side. While halfway through our meal the phone rang. Expecting a call from our son, Jackson Jr., I answered and was greeted by someone telling me I had won a free, all-expenses paid trip to Bermuda, for only $495.00 per person.
After disengaging myself from this less than witty scripted conversation, I resumed my meal, but the whole time was pestered by the nagging feeling left by that impersonal sales pitch. Did I mention that the guy actually called me "insert name here"?
The next day at the office, I did some searching on the internet (by having my secretary actually search. Have to give Doris credit.) and found a site dedicated to ending, or at leasting hampering these nimrods (though the site itself refers to them as scum, which I'll accept as a technical term for their trade and will use from now on in this editorial).
Some of the "scum" have postings on this site as a reply to the comments made about them. Most said how their job was better than flipping burgers. This may be true, but having done both jobs as a teen, I felt less greasy after a day at the Golden Arches than I did coming home from a hard day sitting on my rear begging people for cash over the phone. By the way, McDonald's and the like are hiring for far better wages than most telemarketing companies, and I hear the food is much better.
One "scum", known as PJam (obviously his stage name) said you have the right to hang up so therefore no harm, no foul. I agree with this. A similar case would be that your child has the right to say no to the heroin dealer on the street corner that makes a cold call on him/her on the way to school. Same thing, just a slightly different product than aluminum siding. And on the plus side, the dealer isn't interrupting dinner.
Call that an unfair analogy? <no name>, who was formerly called the telemarketer known as Prince, said "The scum are those people who aren't working at all and are just sitting at home getting public aid checks all day". True, but those particular scum aren't annoying me. My time and patience is far more important than the $2.00 a year they're taking from me in taxes. And maybe they're sitting there because the only other option IS telemarketing and they would rather live on assistance than stoop to that level.
And Json37 says he's bringing in 6K a month, which equates to roughly 37.50 per hour! Now that's impressive! But with about $72K per year you'd think he stop and start his OWN telemarketing company.
I applaud any person who goes out and makes their way in society, earning a living and paying their bills - even sportswriters like our own Rich Frosting. But if your job infringes on the rights of others, then the line has to be drawn. Referring back to the popstar PJam, he equates telemarketing to television. But one doesn't pay for the airwaves coming into your home. With premium cable stations such as HBO and Starz, you pay and get no commercials during your program in the same way you pay for your phone, hence no commercials
All in all, I'm not sure calling all telemarketers scum is fair. Some are scum, but then again I'd say others are simply a cancer on society. And a small minority of these callers are high school and college students who will someday get their own phone line and be pestered by their followers in the exciting field of telephone annoyance.
I just sit and wonder if any of these phone jockeys are beyond the age of 17. If so, are they married? Do they accidentlly call their wives and try to sell them long distance or electric lint collectors? I can see that at work around the water cooler -"Damn, I sold myself some of this crap, now I have to sign my paycheck over to the boss".
Was this missive intelligent? Funny? No matter what, I'm just glad I probably pissed someone off. And hopefully they read it during dinner.
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| ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jackson Hoff has been in the publishing industry for 46 years, having started as a as a paperboy at the age of 9. At age 12 he was promoted from that position to Managing Editor of The Taunt. | | |
